September is Suicide Awareness and Prevention Month. Below is part of my recovery story. It was written and shared on Facebook on June 26th, 2020, which was when I reached a big milestone and knew I was solid in my recovery journey. I wasn't done with recovery yet, but I was back in the game of life!
Ok... so some of you already know, but many of you don't, I spent many years suffering from mental illness. I was very broken for a very long time and life was more than tough. In 2012, after 23 years of hell and 9 suicide attempts, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety disorder, Social Anxiety disorder, PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, PMDD, Agoraphobia, and severe co-dependency issues. It cost me my children, my relationship with my parents, two marriages, and it very nearly cost me David. I finally sought help and God put the right people in my path for me to get on (and stay on) the road to recovery. It took time, but I was blessed with the right case manager at Red Rock BHS, who set me on my path and we addressed my overall wellness head on. One day, while I was meeting with her, she told me that she thought I'd make a great Peer Recovery Support Specialist. I asked what that was, and she said that it is someone who has struggled with mental illness or substance abuse and come out of it on the other side, who uses their experience to help people in similar circumstances. It struck a cord with me, but I knew I was nowhere near ready for it then. But I had a goal. Later that same year, I visited OCARTA for the first time in an effort to break out of my agoraphobia. It's run by people who are all PRSS's and they do great work. When I walked in, I felt at home instantly. It reminded me of the community center my parents opened and ran when I was a kid. I knew I wanted to work there.
Fast forward to 2019, after years of therapy, meds and healing, the time came when I knew it was time to pursue my certification. I went to OCARTA, where they have an excellent PRSS training program, and applied and enrolled in the class. In the course of the training, I led group meetings without fear, I was tapped to mentor a few women, and new opportunities have presented themselves. Not bad for a girl who couldn't leave the house on her own, or even talk to the checkout person at the store. And when no one was looking, David and I did more than save our marriage... we fell in love all over again on a much deeper level. Even my parents and I have a solid relationship that has grown exponentially. And my daughter is not only back in my life after 15 years, she has moved here and is staying with us during the pandemic! Somewhere along the line, my illness... my weaknesses, became my strengths. After years of recovering, many months of learning, and volunteering, I took my PRSS exam today and passed with a PERFECT SCORE!!! This whole recovery dream... turns out it is REAL. Oh! And OCARTA is interested in hiring me now that I am certified.
HEY, LOOK MA!! I MADE IT!!!
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