The Senior Citizen and the State Trooper

A senior citizen from the Villages drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership
in Ocala. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what
little hair he had left.

"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, lights flashing and siren
blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm
too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked
at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a
new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper.
I thought you were bringing her back.

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.

Riddle - What Are They Thinking?

Here is a riddle for the true intellectual. Try to come up with the answer on your own. The answer is at the end for those who are unable to think this one through.

At the exact same time, there are two 35 year old men on opposite sides of the earth:

One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers.

The other is getting "oral pleasure" from an 85 year old toothless woman.

They are both thinking the exact same thing.

What are they both thinking?
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Don't look down.

Old Is When...

"OLD" IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs
and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do
both!"

"OLD" IS WHEN.. Your friends compliment you on your
new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN.... A sexy babe catches your eye and
your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles
out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN. You don't care where your spouse goes,
just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by
the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means I
don't need to take any fiber today.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your
car in the parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting
up to pee.