Old Is When...

"OLD" IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs
and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do
both!"

"OLD" IS WHEN.. Your friends compliment you on your
new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN.... A sexy babe catches your eye and
your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles
out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN. You don't care where your spouse goes,
just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by
the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means I
don't need to take any fiber today.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your
car in the parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting
up to pee.

Lost Wife In Walmart

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The second guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too, and I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The first guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"

The second guy says, "Well, she is young, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big firm breasts, and a tight butt. What does your wife look like?"

To which the first guy says, "Never mind; let's just look for yours."