1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.
Showing posts with label warnings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label warnings. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Useful Military Warnings
"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket
Launcher
"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S.
Army
"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are
guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop
"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal
"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you
least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's
left of your unit." - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you
just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual
"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry
Journal
"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance
"Five-second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal
"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - Col.
David Hackworth
"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an
ambush." - Infantry Journal
"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay
"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once." - Anonymous
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown
Army Recruit
"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your
Buddies
(And lastly)
"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." -
U.S. Ammo Troop
Launcher
"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S.
Army
"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are
guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop
"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal
"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you
least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's
left of your unit." - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you
just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual
"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry
Journal
"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance
"Five-second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal
"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - Col.
David Hackworth
"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an
ambush." - Infantry Journal
"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay
"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once." - Anonymous
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown
Army Recruit
"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your
Buddies
(And lastly)
"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." -
U.S. Ammo Troop
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