Jon Stewart - Making The News Tolerable

The Master Of Fake News

With his fearlessly direct and biting political humor, comedian Jon Stewart gives a clear and wonderfully funny voice to widespread American frustration over Bush administration screw-ups and hypocrisies. If you are prone to severe anxiety attacks, Jon makes it safe for me to be made aware of world and political issues without the “It’s the end of the world as I know it, and we’re all doomed” sense that other news casts tend to trigger in me.

Airing four nights a week on Comedy Central, The Daily Show is a necessity for liberals and political-insiders. And a social studies parody book, America (the Book) published in 2004 remained on best-seller lists for months. I am in the process of re-reading it now. I was presented with a copy of his book “Naked Pictures Of Famous People” for my birthday and it remains on my bedside table even though I have read it more than once, because when I am in need a laugh, it keeps me well supplied.
With Emmy Awards and two of the ever exalted Peabody awards for excellence lining his shelves, Stewart brightly reminds us that you can inform others, be funny, and do it with genuine respectability. He covers American politics with his team of comedic “reporters” in a manner that is nothing less than hysterical brilliance…which is far preferable to the hysterical blindness that the madness of the political scene tends to induce.
The Daily Show has become the leading venue for opinion-makers' appearances, from Bill Clinton, John Kerry and John
McCain, President Elect Barack Obama and to newscasters Tom Brokaw, Anderson Cooper and Brian Williams, Actors, actresses and more authors than I can count from innumerable genres.
When Jon took over the reins of the then obscure Daily Show, he found his niche. The ratings the show have grown steadily as word of mouth spread from teenage and college aged Comedy Central viewers to their parents and grandparents. Since then, The Daily Show ratings growth has been unprecedented for cable.
Stewart graced the January 4, 2004 cover of Time magazine, and was named by Time in 2005 as one of the 100 most influential Americans.
Jon Stewart established himself as force to be reckoned with on the October 15, 2004 airing of CNN's annoying bark-fest ‘Crossfire’ when he nailed Tucker Carlson, conservative co-host, to the proverbial wall. "I'm here to confront you, because we need help from the media...I watch your show everyday. And it kills me. It's so painful to watch, because we need what you do." Tucker got a bit pissy (to say the least) and was upset because he had expected to be doing an easy fluff piece with some comedian and it turned out that the comedian was smart, sharp, aware, astute and, heaven help us, bold. Here are a few quotes from/about that airing of Crossfire.


"They said I wasn't being funny. And I said to them, 'I know that, but tomorrow I will go back to being funny, and your show will still blow.'" --Jon Stewart, on his sniping match with Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala on "Crossfire"

"You know what's interesting, though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show." --Jon Stewart, beautifully bitch-slapping Tucker Carlson during CNN's "Crossfire"


"What you do is not honest. What you do is partisan hackery. You have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably." --Jon Stewart, to Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala on "Crossfire"

Not long after that, CNN told Carlson to hit the bricks and he was terminated by CNN president Jonathan Klein who said, "I agree wholeheartedly with Jon Stewart's overall premise."


No matter what John Stewart does in the future, as long as he keeps speaking out, I predict that he will be a catalyst for change. On a near nightly basis, he calls the news makers on the carpet, makes us laugh at what makes us weep, thereby giving us the ability to live through the upheaval and insanity that is the modern world.


But that is just this liberal’s opinion…and there is always the possibility that I am completely wrong…but I seriously doubt it. He’s this generation’s Carson and Letterman hybrid, and I think his best is yet to come (No pressure John!)


Quotes:

[Clip of Bush: America needs to conduct this debate on immigration in a reasoned and respectful tone...We cannot build a unified country by inciting people to anger or playing on anyone's fears]
Jon Stewart: "That's what terrorism and gay people are for."

"President Bush's approval ratings have taken somewhat of a dive. A senior slump, if you will. Leading President Bush to one conclusion: He is the only one who realizes what a great job he's being doing." --Jon Stewart

"I do have some sad news to report. Bjork could not be here. She was trying on her Oscars dress and Dick Cheney shot her." --Jon Stewart, at the Academy Awards
"Capote, of course, addressed very similar themes to Good Night and Good Luck. Both films are about determined journalists defying obstacles in a relentless pursuit of the truth. Needless to say, both are period pieces." --Jon Stewart, at the Academy Awards

"Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird." --Jon Stewart
"Bush finally got to the real reason for the trip -- give us money for Iraq. ... It's the Bush version of the Pottery Barn rule -- we broke it, you bought it." --Jon Stewart, on Bush's European tour

"They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite.' And I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right. What's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?" --Jon Stewart

Lewis Black ... Black Is Beautiful

I will, at this time, freely admit that I worship at the alter of Lewis Black. Okay…I don’t literally worship him, but I do deeply love him. Lewis is acidic, sarcastic, cynical, and consistently on the mark. He tells it like it is and lets no one get away with what can only be referred to as bovine fecal matter..

Lewis is a fearless commentator on society and world issues. In a perfect world I’d make him the leader of the free world. He calls leaders on the carpet for their retarded nonsense and keeps us in stitches while doing it. He is the only comedian I have ever watched that actually made the topic of the weather something funny.He has a habit of being honest and merciless, which I find refreshing. He is difficult to describe…so I will let you see for yourself. Check out the quotes…or better yet, order his Books or DVDs. I personally loved watching Lewis Black: Red, White and Screwed the most, but I appreciated it more after having seen and/or listened to his other performances.

QUOTES

Let's face it, Americans are fat all year round, but the holidays are when we really hit our stride. And you can bet the food we eat will be just as unhealthy as the families we're forced to visit.
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The last person to get across that town in under three hours was yelling "The British are coming! The British are coming!" [On Boston traffic]

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Turns out we've all been eating the wrong thing...since the dawn of civilization! [On the Atkins Diet]

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But those aren't the flavors. That'd make too much sense. Apple and pear, according to Dr. Phil, are body types the bars are made for. Hey, I've got some advice. If you look like an apple or a pear, eat an apple or a pear! [On Dr. Phil's energy bars]

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Candy Corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

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MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

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You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company, can't explain, in ONE SENTENCE....what it does....it's illegal.

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Behind me, I heard a young woman of 25 say, "If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college." Now, I'm gonna repeat that, because it bears repeating. "If it weren't for my horse..." as in, giddyup, giddyup, let's go — "I wouldn't have spent that year in college," which is a degree-granting institution. Don't think about that too long, or BLOOD will shoot out your nose!
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The Republicans are the party of bad ideas. The Democrats are the party of no ideas.
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In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in 12 years, we'll be voting for plants.
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I do have certain feelings. My feeling is that whoever is in charge, I want him out. (on his political views)
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Here are some links to Lewis' CDs, DVDs and Books to get you going... as you can see, there is no shortage of entertainment from the mighty man in black.

Kathy Griffin - One Gutsy Dame...Allegedly

Kathy Griffin is one gutsy dame.
I don’t say this because she is a woman in the world of stand-up comedy, or because she says outlandish things. Hell I do that, and it doesn’t take guts, it only takes a lack of a filter between your brain and your mouth. No. Kathy is gutsy on a level that few people are. She talks about the media whores and posturing celebrities in a less than flattering way, whilst living and working amongst them.
It hasn’t taken the celebs very long to realize that Kathy will talk about their ignorant shit, and that nothing and no one is sacred. Kathy is a self proclaimed D-list diva and she makes the most of that status. I pray to god she never up-grades because where she is right now is too delicious for words. She praises and skewers the media whores and celebrities who have clearly lost their damn minds and she does so without regard to their status. Even Oprah is not off limits.
Kathy keeps us in stitches as she shares her thoughts on Tom Cruise’s meltdown on Oprah (don’t you love it?), Anna Niccole Smith on the Hollywood Squares along with Chaka Khan, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, and Little Richard all on the same day (It’s all happening over at the Squares), and she takes on Whitney Houston, Oprah Winfrey, Star Jones, Barbra Walters (who, it turns out, is as big a twat as we have imagined), Clay Gaykin (I mean Aikin), Celine Dion, Gweneth Paltrow (she’s a snot…who knew?), Lindsey Lohan, and on and on. And you haven’t heard a great wedding story until she tells you about Brooke Sheild’s wedding. I would give anything to have been there….and I REALLY hate going to weddings.
Kathy shares her points of view on these people and their VERY public behaviors as well as her personal encounters with them. She is merciless and fantastically funny, and manages to get herself into the damnedest situations with these people, and she doesn’t even bother to deny whatever unbecoming thing she may have said about them. She just rolls with it, and if they can’t take the jokes that they have managed to make of themselves, screw ‘em. You gotta love the moxie on this chick.
In the process of making us laugh, Kathy gives us a wonderful gift. It’s the gift of acknowledgement that the people we place on pedestals and that we rabidly read about, are absurd and usually oblivious to how ridiculous they really are. She lets us know that these people are not normal, nor are the majority worthy of the attention we place on them. She says what we’re all thinking, which validates our notion that it’s all bullshit, and we really shouldn’t take them seriously.
Kathy’s stories are as outrageous as the celebrities in them, and you never know what she is going to say next. Keep an eye on BRAVO. They show her reality show “My Life on The D-List” as well as her stand-up comedy specials. She has a new special that is supposed to air sometime this summer, and chances are that as they are gearing up to air it on Bravo, they will show her previous shows as well. I am telling you all, WATCH THEM! Better yet RECORD them or buy her stuff. She’s well worth the time and money, and absolutely a keeper. I would trade vital parts of other people’s anatomy just to see her live in concert. This fiery redhead is comedic gold. Oh, and remember that everything she says is “alleged”.

Henry Phillips - Standing On The Shoulders Of Freaks

Henry Phillips

Quote: “What I take from life, I give back through my art. So far I've taken nothing but crap."

Henry Phillips writes touching music, then attaches outrageous lyrics to it. Not since Ray Stevens has anyone managed to make people laugh through a song with such style. Like all good comedians and philosophers, Henry finds humor and metaphors in new places and is unapologetic in his works. But then, there is no need for him to apologize given the fact that what he says has this nasty tendency to be true.

In his honor, I would like to introduce you to the song of his that I favored most. It is also our song of the week.

Henry has been featured on Comedy Central, Jimmy Kimmel and is often heard on the radio on Bob & Tom. Always fun, and definitely worth a listen.

If you want to learn more about Henry, check out some of his work and get tour dates, visit his site at http://www.henryphillips.com/.


Lyrics to my favorite Henry Philips Song...

Standing On The Shoulders Of Freaks

Ancient philosophy was framed by prodigies;
Aristotle, Plato, and Socrates.
And even though their thoughts were deemed
the aristocratic voice,
They also had a thing for little boys.

Catherine the Great, so it's been said,
Needed large animals to be fulfilled in bed.

From historic rulers,
To the ancient Greeks,
We're standing on the shoulders of freaks

"Isn't life pretty?" Ernest Hemingway once said,
And then he put a bullet through his head

Salvador Dali's surreal paintings were godsent,
You'd never know he ate his own excrement.

Then there's Da Vinci, for whom it required
Dressing in women's underwear to be inspired.

From the great romantics,
To the ancient Greeks,
We're standing on the shoulders of freaks.

Truman Capote, needless to say,
Would be intoxicated 20 hours a day

From the modern authors,
To the ancient Greeks,

We're standing on the shoulders of freaks

For More from Henry, try these links...






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Eddie Izzard - The Original Executive Transvestite

Eddie Izzard – The Original Executive Transvestite

Born on February 7, 1962, to British parents who were in Yemin on business, Eddie Izzard has lead a life less ordinary and he’s done it with his own sense of style.

Yes, he is/was a transvestite, and he has been known to dress in drag on many occasions (although not as much lately). He is not gay. He describes himself essentially, as a male lesbian. When he’s been asked why he wear’s dresses or skirts, he has said that women can wear pants whenever they want (for heaven’s sake, the GAP actually advertised “boyfriend” pants for women), so he can wear a dress when he wants. Fair clothing for all! I can hang with that.

Eddie first appeared on the stage in London’s West End in 1993. Now, 14 years later, Eddie Izzard has had three Emmy nominations (two of which he won, which was a surprise to Chris Rock as well as David Letterman’s writers, who lost to Izzard), An Oliver Award nomination, two British Comedy Awards, a Tony Award nomination and best of all, John Cleese declared Eddie to be the “Lost Python”, which, I personally feel, is the highest praise any comedian could ever attain.

While Eddie virgins might be a bit stunned by Eddie’s appearance, he has a knack for putting people at ease in very short order. The first time I ever saw him was on Dress To Kill and when I saw him I immediately prejudged him and was expecting nothing but gay and drag queen jokes. Eddie flushed that notion rather quickly. After informing us that he is an Executive Transvestite, straight, and shares where he kept his makeup hidden when he was a kid, he then proceeds to teach us about world leaders, puberty, losing his virginity, the Bible, history, and even gave us a French lesson. I don’t speak French, but he did a whole chunk of his act in French and I understood it, not only that, but I actually laughed.
Eddie is wonderfully accessible, highly educational and just flat out fun. There is a fearlessness in the way he carries himself, and in the movie and stage roles that he chooses, as well as the topics that he covers in his stand-up acts. He is amazingly relatable.
Presently, Eddie has a TV show on TNT called The Riches, where he and his family of modern day gypsies are in the process of literally stealing the American dream. The humor of the show is dry, but quite present, and the performances by Eddie and Minnie Driver, not to mention the actors who play their children, are solid and compelling. I love that the TV audience is giving this show the chance to succeed because the story potential is practically unlimited. And Eddie’s ability to play a con is absolutely seamless and beautiful to watch. If watching The Riches is your first introduction to Eddie, then his stand-up routines will stun you. His intelligence is ever-present in everything he does…no matter how different the characters may be from one project to the next.
His movie credits include Ocean’s 12, Ocean’s 13, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, The Wild (where he brilliantly gave his comedic talents to a Koala Bear (and he stole the movie in much the same way that the Penguins stole the show in Madagascar), and currently you can catch him as Reepicheep in The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian. For more on his list of credits, check him out on http://www.imdb.com/.
Eddie Izzard is a man who is not above taking chances by any means, and his execution of those chances makes him nothing short of radiant. His approach to life, being who he really is, the state of the world, and acting are a bright example of what embracing your own individuality can do for you. Eddie simply is who he is, and if you don’t like him, he will still go on being exactly who he is. And the fact that he is so comfortable in his own skin gives him a great deal of credibility, and makes his performances resonate with authority, open humor and a matter-of-factness that keeps you coming back time and again. Where else are you going to find someone who refers to certain fruits like oranges and pears, as “Stalinist”.
My two favorite performances are “Dress To Kill” and “Definite Article”. I have all of his concerts on DVD except for Sexie. Get them. Watch them, Learn from them. He’s the only person I know of who noticed that the empires of old took over entire countries with the “cunning use of flags” and explained the process perfectly. Just to give you a taste of what’s been on Eddie’s mind over the years, here are some of my favorite quotes.

Quotes on:

Drugs…

“If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.”

History…

“I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.”

“So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey… The Ottoman Empire… full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for $@ck all! Yes, all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.”

“So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naïve, I feel!”

Pol Pot killed one point seven million Cambodians, died under house arrest, well done there. Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, aged seventy-two… well done indeed. And the reason we let them get away with it is they killed their own people. And we're sort of fine with that. Hitler killed people next door. Oh, stupid man. After a couple of years we won't stand for that, will we!?”

“"Every free citizen of the world is a citizen of Berlin and so I say to you all 'ich bin ien Berliner'".. and the crowd went $@ckin' wild. Trouble is.. “ich bin ien Berliner” means “I am a donut.”.”

Dating…

“I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.”


General observations:

“I'm an action transvestite really, so it's running, jumping, climbing trees... putting on make-up when you're up there!”

“Never put a sock in a toaster.”

“Who has ever heard of an evil giraffe? “I am an evil herbivore. I shall eat more leaves from this tree than I should. I will eat all of the leaves from this tree, so that other giraffes may die”.
Health…

“How’s that maneuver coming along Dr. Heimlich?”
“Well, not so well at the moment... it’s more of a gesture.”

Myths…

“I’m Robin Hood! I rob from the rich and give to the poor! Are you Rich?”
“No…no, I’m comfortable”.
“Well that won’t do. I can’t steal from the comfortable and give to the moderately impoverished.”

Eddie just proves to me that stand-up comedians like himself are the true modern philosophers of our times. Like Plato, Aristotle and Socrates, the look at the way the world works and how everything functions in it, and they manage to smile wryly and take note and deliver a verbal shrug that makes us laugh at the insanity, and in some cases, the stupidity of it all. Thanks to people like him, the old adage of “If you can laugh at it, you can live with it” holds.

Want more Eddie? Try these links!

Dress to Kill
The Riches - Season 1
Eddie Izzard - Glorious
Eddie Izzard - Definite Article
Eddie Izzard - Circle
Eddie Izzard - Unrepeatable

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